I have a pet peeve . . . maybe you do too? What is it with people who leave their shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot? This bothers me so much that when I’m putting my cart away, I will offer to take someone else’s cart and put it back too. Not because I’m especially gracious. I just want the cart put away. What goes around comes around, right? We reap what we sow, and maybe next time I’ll get a cart-free parking space in front of Trader Joe’s. Here’s the rub. Pet peeves, while irritating, can cause us to look at our own conduct and change it. Hopefully.

 

It seems that we’ve become a “yes—but” culture. We regularly hear celebrities, public figures, even the “man on the street” make excuses for their poor behavior. “Yes, I did this, I said that—but do you know what they said and did to me?” An apology (if there is one) is simply a means to justify their behavior. Somehow they become the victim. Making excuses, shifting the blame on someone else, is a pet peeve that actually has some spiritual relevance. It compels me to take a look at myself.

 

David said, “Put me on trial Lord, and cross examine me. Test my motives and my heart” Psalm 26:2 NLT.

 

As I found myself complaining and claiming victim status in one of those internal conversations we have with the Lord, He reminded me of this verse. I confess that it cut to the core. I was heartbroken at how quick I was to point fingers at someone else to make myself feel better about my own actions. Instead of simply owning my own stuff, confess it and honestly repent.

 

Please hear me. I know there may be someone who, through no fault of their own, is facing the adverse consequences of someone else’s bad behavior. This conversation is not aimed at you. But speaking for myself, if I’m a victim of anything it’s my own poor choices.

 

Thankfully, my pity-party was private and I didn’t need to repair any collateral damage with someone else. This time. But I did have to confess it to the Lord and ask Him to change my heart and my attitude.

 

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “yes—but” instead of owning your own behavior? Is that an apology, or an excuse? Excuses don’t lead to real introspection or genuine heart change. How much better it is to just own it . . . confess it . . . and be freed to let God continue the process of making you more like His precious Son.

 

 

“Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 ESV