Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Matthew 5:9

A troublemaker…stirs up conflict.

Proverbs 6:14

Would you say that your life is characterized by quietness or conflict? I know of a few wonderful women who are real peacemakers. In the presence of a disagreeable situation, time and again they have shown discretion and wisdom by their outlook as well as their words and actions.

They build bridges instead of setting them on fire.

Gracious words, a thoughtful answer, shows deference that can often disarm tension. As Proverbs 15:1 reminds us, “a soft answer turns away wrath” whereas the words of a troublemaker just makes things worse.

Are you a peacemaker or a troublemaker? If we answer honestly, most of us would have to say we are somewhere on the spectrum between the two. As you think of a recent situation (maybe even yesterday) where conflict was brewing, which end of that spectrum did you come closer to?

One wrong word can quickly stir up a fight. It is all too easy to be the critic, the combatant. If we frequently find ourselves in a series of conflicts, perhaps we have the trait of a troublemaker. Beneath those surface eruptions, the root of the problem is the inability to prayerfully think through the situation.

Here are a few questions for us to pray about and think through.

  • Do I pray first and speak later? Or the other way around?
  • Do I hesitate or am I quick to voice a complaint about someone or something?
  • Is it easy—or hard—for me to overlook a slight or a wrong?
  • When I’m drawn into conflict and don’t agree, do I present the other side fairly?
  • Am I willing to step out of my own shoes and see it from another point of view?

It takes more time and effort to thoughtfully ask questions, try to understand, and avoid conveniently leaving out important details. May we be quick to stand up for truth, but not be a troublemaker. Lord, give us wisdom to discern the difference!

I’m reminded of a simple acrostic that Alan Redpath formulated using the word “think.”

T    Is it true?

H   Is it helpful?

I     Is it inspiring?

N   Is it necessary?

K   Is it kind?

Then he would add, “If what I am about to say does not pass those tests, I will keep my mouth shut!”

When it comes to conflicts, there seems to be three natural tendencies in the way we respond. Some of us get anxious and withdraw. Others respond with cheerfulness, making an effort to be likeable and win others. Then there are those of us who become assertive and aggressive.

Only in Jesus do we see One who does not habitually assert or withdraw, but always responds appropriately with perfect wisdom.

Let us remember that our goal as a Christian is to be daily conformed into His image. To grow in wisdom, the fearful must learn to be bolder, the assertive must learn to be cautiously mindful, and the chronically sunny to be thoughtful and realistic! We see the balance laid out for us in the verses below.

Let’s pray through these, and together be the peacemakers we are called to be, reflecting the character of our Lord and Savior.

 

So then, putting away falsehood, let all of us speak the truth to our neighbors, for we are members of one another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not make room for the devil.

Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.

Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. – Ephesians 4:25-27, 29, 31-32 (NRSV)