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The house looked like it could have been featured on the pages of House Beautiful. Mario, Ina, or Bobby would certainly have approved the menu. Every carefully placed crystal goblet, each piece of sterling silver would have passed the white glove test. Even the dog looked like he had spent the afternoon in the salon. The host and hostess were impeccably dressed, manicured, and coiffed. Even though the music played softly and the fire in the hearth burned brightly, the effect became surreal, like a house straight out of the fictional town of Stepford, Connecticut . . . just before it you realized that their all-too-perfect lives weren’t.

Why did it feel so uncomfortable? Maybe because at one point, as one guest casually leaned his hand against the wall, I overheard the host whisper to him in the most matter of fact tone of voice, “Please don’t put your fingerprints on the polished plaster.”

Seriously. This is a true story.

We need to remind our inner Marthas that a perfect house is not a home, and a menu, worthy as it may be of the pages of Bon Appetite, can still leave an emptiness that food will never fill.

So as I plan my holiday gathering, I need to keep this in the forefront of my thoughts: perfection isn’t our goal . . . love is. This holiday season, I have a choice: will my goal be hospitality, or entertaining?

The endless “entertaining” checklist may begin something like this:

  • The most perfect table-scape you could find on Pinterest
  • An impressive gourmet menu
  • A spotlessly clean and perfectly staged home—every fingerprint windexed, every pillow fluffed, every baseboard dusted
  • The new and impressive hostess outfit
  • And on and on it goes . . .

All of these things, even if carried out with perfect attention to detail, may be followed by disappointment and exhaustion.

If that is the direction you are heading and you can’t control your perfectionist urges, then perhaps you should call it off, check out and ditch the whole thing. Go to the movies, have some popcorn, call it a day. At least you will spare your family the stress, strife, and overspending.

Do I hear an Amen?

Hospitality, on the other hand, is:

  • A table setting that makes everyone at ease.
  • A menu that’s homey, familiar, and allows some face-to-face time with guests.
  • A house that says “You are welcome” instead of “Be careful; don’t touch that.”
  • It is a hostess that is not annoyed when gravy is spilled on the tablecloth, or the kitchen looks like a battlefield, not a magazine layout.
  • It is success that’s measured by small acts of thoughtfulness, a genuine interest in others, and double helpings of grace.

What the Bible says about hospitality opens our eyes to what God values. Our goal, as my friend Dixie says, is to bless, not impress!

So what keeps us from showing hospitality?

Is it not having a gorgeous house and all the right stuff?

Is it pride, fearing we won’t have what it takes to impress our guests?

Maybe it is our own expectations, planted in our heads by Madison Avenue advertisers.

God wants us all to be hospitable. Why? Because Jesus said, “I was hungry and you gave me food . . . naked and you clothed Me. Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me” (Matthew 25:35, 36, 40 NKJV)

Ah, there is the motive right there. Show hospitality to each other, especially those who are in great need, because when you do, Scripture tells us, you are doing it to Jesus Himself!

So here is a little reminder as we make our plans this season: don’t stress out over how organized your picture frames are or if your pantry is properly color-coded. As you prepare to serve your family and guests, do it as unto Jesus!

“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. Cheerfully share your home with those who need a meal or a place to stay. God has given each of you a gift from His great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another. Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God Himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 4:8–11 NLT).