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Reality TV takes “people-watching” to another level. Shows like Shark Tank and Survivor score high ratings. American Idol recently went out big with 13 million people watching to see who would be the next (and last) American Idol. What makes these shows so popular? We like to think we’re getting an unscripted, behind-the-scenes glimpse of how a person acts and thinks. When television does this, it’s for salacious effect, but when the Bible pulls back the curtain to reveal the heart and inmost thoughts of Jesus, it’s so we might be transformed.

 

That’s the goal, really, of studying God’s Word. Not just to have correct information about the incarnation of Jesus in our heads, as important as that is, but so that it will take root in us. When we see the love behind His willingness to come live as a man and serve in a fallen world, it goes deep and changes how we think and live.

 

We see Jesus washing the disciples’ feet on the night before He would die (John 13). This was the lowest of all jobs. Even a Jewish slave could not be forced to wash feet, but Jesus gets down on His knees and serves them. Why? To show them (and us) a new way to be human.

 

“I’m giving you a new commandment. Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other” (John 13:34 NLT).

Philippians 2:3–8 shows us the heart and mind of Jesus behind this command. It shows how to take this word love and practice it—not the way culture tells us to love but the way Jesus showed us how to love.

 

Social media makes it easier than ever to “friend” someone or find someone compatible to fall in love with. But it’s never been harder to stay in love or stay in close friendships. Every relationship has hard times, hurting times, times when it will cost you.

 

What are we willing to do to maintain love? Are we willing to go the extra mile? Or how long will it be until we say, “Whatever! I’m done. I’m outta here.” It’s so easy to walk away and wash our hands of that situation . . . that person . . . that group . . . that church. But the Bible says, “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit” (Ecclesiastes 7:8 ESV). It is worth sticking it out; it is worth not throwing in the towel.

 

Something in each of us yearns for meaningful, committed relationships. Despite the divorce rates, quarrels with friends, or church splits, we want bonds of love that will last.

 

We look at culture, even our own family history, and wonder if it’s possible to stick together for a lifetime. I don’t mean just tolerating one another or quietly coexisting. My grandparents lived together all their lives. She had her garden club, and he had his crossword puzzles, but barely a conversation passed between them. When I said, “I do,” my goal was not just to stay together, but to stay in love forever.

 

When Greg and I fell in love, he was funny, cute, and super-focused on Jesus. But we were opposite in many ways and we had our quarrels about many things. We soon discovered that staying in love takes work! The secret is to practice love habitually, intentionally, sacrificially. But selfless love doesn’t come naturally.

 

That’s why Paul wrote to his dear friends, the Philippians. They were a healthy, loving church—maybe his favorite! But even the most devoted people go through times when it’s difficult to love each other. It won’t be enough to fall back on feelings; we’re going to need a stronger motivation to rekindle love, mend a friendship, save a marriage.

 

For love to work, we need to see the way Jesus loves and take our cues from Him. “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:5 NIV).

 

Jesus humbled Himself. I love the phrase “He emptied Himself.” What a contrast! We’re so full of ourselves, but Jesus chose to place our need for forgiveness above His own glory.

 

Treat others as more important. You may think, “But they’re not more important!” That’s not the issue. Paul says, treat them as if they are more important. It’s really a matter of respect. We’re drawn to people who treat us as someone special, aren’t we? We may not even realize why we lean their way; we just know they’ve shown us love.

When we choose to show respect, it brings into our relationships a degree of love that is missing without it. Everywhere Jesus went, He really was the most important person, but He never leveraged that to His advantage.

 

Look out for one another’s interests. “Look” implies showing interest in what matters to someone else—even in things we don’t necessarily find interesting. I’ve noticed, in the healthy relationships and marriages of people I’ve observed and respected for many years, there is this aspect to their life. They have a habit of expressing genuine interest in other people.

In 42 years of marriage, I’ve seen Greg take an interest in what interests me. Trouble is, my interests keep changing! But he’s shown an interest in every phase. For me, it’s been easier. Greg still loves old cars, loud motorcycles, and action movies. I don’t always like to ride on the back of a motorcycle or watch war movies, but I’m trying! I want to care about old cars because he likes them and it’s an opportunity for me to show him that I love him.

 

The question for us is, are we willing to take these things out of our Bibles and put them into practice? Do we think it’s beneath us? God in heaven is interested in every detail of your life.

Jesus emptied Himself to serve and to die a shameful death. Why? Because He chose a relationship with us over His own glory. His love is the most transforming force in the universe. When we bow in love and serve one another, His love takes root and grows in us.

 

Jesus said, “Love each other as I have loved you.”

Let’s start in new relationships just beginning.

Let’s start in marriages that span decades.

Let’s start in hard places where friendships hang by a thread.

Let’s put away the snubs and slights.

Let’s be the first one to put out a hand and say, “Let’s make it right.”