What to Do with Tears and Fears
I have watched six babies come into the world: two were my own sons, one was my sister’s son, and three were my granddaughters. This July, I am looking forward to being at the birth of my first grandson. One thing has been consistent through each unique and marvelous experience: they all came out crying.
The first sounds we make as infants are the piercing and unsettling cries of fear. I doubt these tears are tears of sorrow; babies are not experienced enough to know sadness. But they do understand fear—the strange breezes of cold air on their skin, the bright lights, the loss of their perfectly private, warm, and safe “room.” Tears and fears, that’s the way we come into the world. From our first breath to our last, we should expect them.
That is one of the most striking features in the unique book of Psalms. I have come to appreciate how deeply emotional they are. Most of us like to think that we are honest about our emotions, but really, when you read the Psalms, don’t you have to wonder if we have ever been this honest in our own prayers?
“I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.
My eyes grow weak with sorrow;
they fail because of all my foes
Away from me, all you who do evil,
for the Lord has heard my weeping.
The Lord has heard my cry for mercy;
the Lord accepts my prayer.” (Psalm 6:6–9 NIV)
These ancient poems are full of sighs, cries to the God who hears. As a matter of fact, if you were to take all 150 psalms and break them into categories, one of them being psalms of lamentation, you would find that there are more psalms in this class than in any other. The biggest piece of the Psalter are tears and fears.
Yet still, sometimes Christians believe a little myth, and the myth goes like this: If I am a good little girl, God will not let anything bad ever happen to me. Now if you read your Bible at all, and you are careful to not pick and choose only pleasant passages, you would realize this thinking is nowhere found in the cannon of Scripture.
The thing we need to realize is that though life is full of problems, God has promised to deliver us out of them all. Psalm 34:18–19 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all” (ESV). There was hardly a time in the life of King David that he wasn’t in one way or another engulfed in tears and fears.
It seems to me that when the Lord comes into a person’s life, their heart actually becomes more vulnerable, more sensitive to pain and hurt. Have you ever noticed that great saints are often great sufferers? For starters, you could take the greatest human heart that ever lived, Jesus Christ, as the best example. “During the days on Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission” (Hebrews 5:7 NIV).
So what do we do with our tears and fears? Expect them. Pray them.
In Psalm 5, David was surrounded by enemies; trouble loomed. And we can learn from him how to pray. He prayed:
“Give ear to my words, O Lord,
consider my sighing.
Listen to my cry for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.
In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait in expectation.” (Psalm 5:1–3 NIV)
Like David, we ought to deal with emotions by praying them honestly before God. Remember, He is not easily shocked; He sees you in the context of your entire life, not just in this given moment of pain. So tell Him how you feel. We have a God who listens and answers prayers.
Here are some points that stand out about David and his prayer:
- There is a growing clarity. He sighs, moans (that is the meaning of the Hebrew word sometimes translated meditation), then he cries aloud, and finally, he progresses to directed, articulate, expectant prayer. Don’t rush your prayers. Wait and process your emotions in God’s presence until the sighs and cries give way to disciplined prayer.
- Set aside the morning, the first part of the day, for prayer time. How much better it is when we pray first before we venture out to face the day and its challenges.
- Be specific. David asks for justice in his situation, and then he asks for personal direction and guidance: “Lead me, O Lord…because of my enemies—make straight your way before me” (verse 8).
- Be hopeful. “I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation” (verse 3). How confident is a heart that knows and loves God! With each trial and test over the course of his life, David grew in confidence that God not only could but would deliver him out of his fears.
32 comments
Debbie | April 25, 2012
This year has been such a blessing!!! Thank you for all the words of wisdom and Godly perspective... I can't believe our year is almost over, this study year has gone by soooo fast... God Bless you and all of our study leaders who have been blessed to lead and who have been there to comfort all the women in their groups..many blessings with the coming of your new grandchild!
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Avis | April 25, 2012
I am so thankful for God's grace and mercy and the wonderful worship and teaching and group time. It has been so challenging and encouraging to be in God's word and prayer with women who love Jesus and want to grow in their walk with Jesus! Thank you Cathe and the ministry of Virtue and the wonderful teaching team! I love ya'll! Kelly is the best!!!Proverbs 3:5-6 Love, Avis
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bblove | April 25, 2012
It's true. One of the main things I've learned in my walk over the past few years is that you may go through trials, but it doesn't necessarily mean you were in the wrong. Even if you are on the right path, you may go through dark times, but it's because of God working things in you that are for your good and things that are eternal. It's to strengthen our faith and bend us even more to His will; it's because He loves us!
D.P. | April 25, 2012
Amen to that!!
CM | April 26, 2012
Thank you, Thank you for those words. I am presently going through a trial not of my own making, but by the decision of my elderly father. I know the Lord is working in my life and I am so encouraged by your words this morning. Thank you sister in Christ.
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William | April 25, 2012
Years ago I was timid. Public speaking was my fear. However, after speaking to small groups while I was in the Army, after a while I noticed that I wasn't afraid to speak to a larger group.
Fear of failure - fear of success: both are real fears that are lifelong. We feel our fear(s), but with faith they become challenges and opportunities.
My biggest time of tears was when I lost my wife almost 3 years ago. God sent me a live, in the flesh, messenger who prophesied that she was in heaven and waiting. He also gave me many other revelations about my present and future ministry.
I also lost 5 other family members that year, and although I made a good attempt to put it all behind me, my soul was still mourning my many losses, including my job and home.
Some emotions due to loss take time to fade away, but staying with Jesus on our path in this life is an essential help.
During this time, he instilled patience and virtue. Meditating on Jesus character and personality has helped me.
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Sherry G. | April 25, 2012
Cathe this is Beautiful and just what I needed to read in this time in my life----the distance between my children has grown due to many reasons that the Lord knows.....I Pray we will all strengthen our lives through Him...I Love the Lord so much He is FIRST in my Life Always.....Thank you for such an strengthening page. God Bless You
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Rosalie | April 25, 2012
Thank you for all the things that you post. I love it all. I am glad for you as you wait for your first grandson.
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Yadira | April 25, 2012
Wow...the Holy Spirit is always there! I received this email @ 6:30, right in the midst of very very hurtful tears. Cathe I want you to know that those words were truly spirit inspired and you don't know to what magnitude you have blessed my life today!!! Thank you for allowing God to use you and thank you for that word. To GOD be the glory!!
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AW. | April 25, 2012
Please pray that the Lord will direct my path. I only want to serve Him with my whole life. I need His guidance and wisdom to illuminate the path ahead. I want to serve Him in ministry and I am looking into going back to school for Biblical studies. I need prayer for strength and for the Lord to bring the right people and situations into my life through the whole process. I feel a strong call on my life and I need prayer that the Lord will strengthen me when I feel weak.
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Araceli | April 25, 2012
God is so good! Cathe, Thank you for today's message. It has brought me courage. You see I have struggled with fears in my life especially with public speaking success. Reading the comments has blessed me to understand that I'm not alone with the fears of failure, but in trusting and leaning on Our Lord He can make anything possible. I have my first icebreaker this Friday 04/27/12. Can you please say a prayer for me? God bless!!!
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CC | April 25, 2012
Just what I needed to hear. Beautifully written from a beautiful woman. I am 20 years old and have been struggling with so many tears and fears lately about college, athletics, and just life. Thank you for the encouragement and guidance Cathe.
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Squikee | April 25, 2012
Reading this gives me the courage to be honest with God. I need to confess all my fears and trust God for my future. Thank you Cathe for reminding me of God's word. Blessings to you.
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Cherry | April 25, 2012
Cathe, This is a very powerful message. We all have times like this where we occasionally suffer with fears and tears. I agree with you that Psalms are very powerful reaching us with prayer and worship based on the sufferings of the psalmist. Thank you for reminding us that we need to base our trust on God alone and no one else because He hears our cries and petitions. More power to you and may God's grace be ever steadfast on you and Pastor Greg.
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Mayra | April 25, 2012
Verse 8 was my prayer last night in the midst of my tears. Today I read this message and I'm thanking God for always being with us, guiding us, and sending us the message we need to keep on, to press on. In my cry to God I asked for Him to just lay it out for me because I'm blind and I see with human eyes. I lack the wisdom to know what or how to do thy will. Then I get this message and it brought me to tears to read that God has been faithful to all of us and to deliver this message to all of us just at the right time. How majestic is Our God. May the Lord hear all our prayers and strengthen our walk. May He protect us and lead us all the days of our lives.
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Susan | April 26, 2012
Thank you. I can feel God speaking to me through you and the comments..like William I am suffering way to much loss in life right now and this has given me strength to do one more day with God. Thanks to you and Him..
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Gertrude | April 26, 2012
Encouraging indeed, God bless you and may He continue using you for His glory.
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Gracie | April 26, 2012
Dear Cathe~
Your email message confirmed that which I experienced over the past weekend. I had heard your teaching the previous Thursday morning in our ladies' study. The part of your message where you spoke about a baby crying out from fear helped me to deal with a difficult family member. I realized the bad behavior that was being manifested was fueled by fear. This ultimately caused me to be more compassionate toward him. The end result? God's grace washed over the person and the difficult situation. God's Word truly is alive, cutting and discerning between truth and falseness. Thanks again for your faithful service to our True Shepherd, Jesus.
Blessings~
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Sylvia | April 26, 2012
Cathe,
I also wish to thank you for allowing yourself to be a servant of God!!! I was with my daughter when she gave birth to her second daughter and was reminded of how God was there with us. It brings me such joy to see how much my relationship has grown with my daughter and the Lord. Seeing His hand on EVERY last detail is truly awesome! I feel so filled with joy also knowing that God is with us through the good times as well as the bad! And they don't seem so bad???!! I am inspired to keep my eyes on Him and to see His presence in my life through the actions of those around me... Praise God!
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Jo-Ann | April 26, 2012
Dear Cathe,
I've been going through some difficult time at work. Challenges are unbearable, my Manager is unbearable, but with God's love and support I can go on everyday. Friends and families are praying with me as well and reading this "tears and fears" section of your program touched my heart and gave me more hope that we really do have a very loving God that listens. Sometimes I doubt if God really listens to me when I pray to Him; who am I that He will waste His time on. I know He loves me, I do not doubt that. He's been with me with every darkness in my life, so why do I feel this way now? I know the enemy is lurking around and I know I need to be strong in God. Please pray for me. Thank you again for taking the time and serving our God, Our Saviour Jesus Christ.
In Christ,
J
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Delphine | April 26, 2012
Dear Cathe,
May God Bless you and your family and keep you close to His heart always.
In Jesus Love, Delphine
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Yolanda | April 26, 2012
Cathe,
Thank you for nourishing our spirits! May the Lord continue to expand your territories.
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Roma | April 26, 2012
A dear, Christian friend of mine, shared this link. This is so simple and so effective. Many of you mentioned things that I can relate to. Many of my sufferings have been at the hand of others, and I often feel like I have had a "Job" or a "David" life. I often wonder how one person could sustain such disappointments, trials and challenges. I often ask God what purpose He has in allowing me to go through so much, while others don't. And I have to admit, it has made me very weary. This is exactly what gives Satan power. Lately, I have been facing an ordeal/trial for nearly 4 years, at the hands of someone who lied, deceived, and brought a group of people into her nightmare. All I did was lend a hand as a friend, and now I am being sought after. It has torn me up in so many ways. I have grown through anger, forgiveness, fear, anxiety, etc because of this situation. But I am still laying in the pile of rubble, waiting on God. In recent days I have been crying out (like a baby), and waiting.
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Jodi | April 26, 2012
Hi Cathe,
Your message really touched me today. It's true...I often read the Psalms with a sense of being able to relate to David when he writes about his troubles, sorrow, and pain. However, today through the things you've shared, I see more clearly how I can talk to God just like David did... and not expect because I know God sees all, and knows all, that there's no need to speak of my feelings so distinctly to Him. Perhaps that's why you have a deeper relationship with the Lord than most. Thank you for your insight. I was both inspired and blessed by you.
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Kelly | April 26, 2012
Ain't that the truth! It is funny the longer one is a Christian, the heart is more sensitive. I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety over aspects of my job that I've been performing for 23 years. Your devotion couldn't have come at a more appropriate time! Amen! Praising God he'll get more through these difficult moments, like he always has!
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Pedrina | April 27, 2012
Dear Cathe,
Thank you so much for a such blessed email you sent me. You, Pastor Greg and your family truly have a special place in my heart. I always find a way to talk about Harvest and Pastor Greg to people. In another time I wil tell you how I found Harvest Christian Fellowship. Would you pray for me for an open door from GOD for a certain financial opportunity. Thank you. May GOD continue to bless your family and Harvest Christian Fellowship. I love this whole email and all the pictures and Brittany's email too. Sincerely, Pedrina
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Rhonda | April 27, 2012
Dear Cathe,
This has been a very hard year for me, but I'm Praising the Lord!
With the loss of my Dad, Dog and extended family drama, the Lord has been so gracious as I have become so transparent and honest with my pain to the Lord and others who have been so gracious to pray for me.
The book of Psalms has helped me to feel and express my heart and to become so much more vulnerable to the Lord and His promises. Thank you for You, and your wonderful Teachers that have helped us along our path of growth in drawing nearer to our precious Heavenly Father.
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Liz | April 27, 2012
This has been the best year ever...2009 became the year of true confessions, hurts and realities for my husband and me. Our Night Season if you will. This year of study allowed me to truly become transparent and to re-read and relish the words of the Psalmist. How else can one deal with those trials that only a parent can go through with their "Prodigals?" But wait, they are not the only Prodigals, we are as well. For we took our eyes off our first love and put them on the circumstance. In the darkness there is light, but we become too engrossed in looking down for those things that would trip us up we forget to look up and reach out to the hands held out to us to lead us through. Thanks again Cathe for your insight and honesty. And WOW! The worship has been GREAT! God Bless all.
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Susan | April 27, 2012
Dear Cathe,
I have read all of these comments and was throughly blessed by all of them. Last January through this year have been a struggle for my husband and myself. I have faced many fears and tears, but through prayer and God's grace I am slowly getting through it. I really don't know what the future holds for my husband and myself, and that is why I really need your prayers for my marriage, husband and myself.
Thank you for your great devotions!
God bless you and your family!!!
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Kathleen | April 29, 2012
Dear Cathe,
Psalm 6 spoke to me personally and your comments truly helped me.
My two favorite men after God's own Heart are David of the Old Testament and the Apostle Paul...Philippians 1:21 "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." I am still a "baby" Christian as it was only in 2008 that I gave my life to Christ at your husband's invitation over K-Wave Radio as I was alone in my car. I am forever grateful to you, Cathe and all the wonderful women at Harvest for faithfully sharing His Word.
My favorite Psalm is 27:4 as this is my deepest desire.
In Christ Jesus, your sister
Kathleen
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Dyanne | April 29, 2012
I see from afar. Now I know what that means. I had to partake from home this year and it wasn't fun. Every week it was something else. My health kept me from Wednesday's. I only got to go like maybe twice including the Christmas Coffee (I enjoyed saying hi to you there). What a blessing. Your words from this little thought provoking messagette has been an extra special blessing that I share with my beloved sisters abroad, yes Cathe it is being shared far far away too. Now this year I will be saying good bye to some friends who will be moving away and I will still be able to send and share these specials words to cheer their days. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for sharing and keep going because we are watching and listening. It's blessings blessings blessings, Love, Dyanne
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Jacqui | May 4, 2012
22 yrs ago today, you were there with me for the birth of my boy!!! :D It was such an beautiful experience and I have always treasured that memory! I love you so much!!
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Valerie | May 4, 2012
Thanks for sharing that with us, we appreciate your wisdom.
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Jennifer | May 5, 2012
Praise the LORD!! Thank you Cathe for these guidelines and even throughout this year's studies.. I just love your teachings! God works amazingly through you and Greg! Thank you both and all who keep Harvest up and running! Thank You LORD!!!
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