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“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all yours ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV).

 

Such a promise! But do you notice the qualifier? “Trust . . . with all your heart.” How much do I actually trust the Lord each day—especially in the struggles I face? Is my trust based on getting a “yes” from the Lord or do I trust Him even when He says “no” to my prayer? Do I wait until I’m backed in a corner and have no other option but to trust? I don’t want to answer on the grounds that it may incriminate me! But seriously, there are days when my “trust meter” hovers near half-empty. I have the inherent tendency to try to control, to hang on and do things myself instead of letting the Lord set a straight path for me. I – get in the way.

 

A while back, I found myself in the midst of a very difficult year. Life went beyond messy and I fell into despair. I was making myself physically ill with worry and anxious thoughts. I desperately wanted peace in this storm and struggled to know why the Lord was allowing this. But let’s be honest. Getting an answer to my “why” wouldn’t really have changed anything. I wore gloom like a heavy wool coat that not only affected me, but my family and friends. The more I tried to manage it, the worse it became until finally the Holy Spirit broke through, pressing me to trust . . . just trust. He kept reminding me of Proverbs 3:5-6 over and over again. I found myself repeating it every time I thought about the chaos I was walking through. Eventually I stopped focusing on the mess and began to see what Jesus was doing through the mess. He was redeeming it. Using it for my good and His glory.

 

Looking back on that year, I see it with a different heart. Many sleepless nights and tear-filled days could have been avoided by trusting Him with all my heart from the beginning. How much heartache and bitterness could have been prevented. What a witness I could have been to those closest to me who knew what I was going through. Yes, there are still painful memories but I trust that God’s plan is good and His promises are true. In His infinite and personal mercy, God will use this in my life to encourage others to simply trust.

 

“Those who know Your name trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You” Psalm 9:10 NIV.