The Snare of Compare
In John 21, Jesus has specific directions for Peter, giving him the responsibility to feed His lambs and sheep. Then, the Lord makes that ominous statement about Peter’s impending death. But when Peter sees John standing by, he asks “Lord, what about him?”
Do you ever find yourself perfectly content . . . until you hear about someone else’s blessings?
You are happy with your new dress until you see your friend sporting that amazing designer label.
You’re proud that your son took first place at the talent show until you hear your nephew is heading off to study music at Julliard.
You’re thrilled to finally be able to repaint the living room and recover that old couch, until you see the moving van pull up to your neighbor’s house—they are moving to the swanky neighborhood uptown.
I remember the time I was so worked up over silly wallpaper. With anticipation, I had been planning and saving to spiff up my kitchen. The day came and the order was finally placed; I was grateful and excited . . . that is, until I heard that a good friend had chosen the same paper. Not only that, but she was also going to use similar designer paper to cover every wall in her house! I was envious . . . and miffed, no longer grateful for what the Lord had provided for me.
Don’t think this doesn’t happen at every level of society, even every level of ministry. Why was she asked to lead and I, great spiritual giant that I am, was passed over? We find ourselves suddenly helpless in the grip of that green-eyed monster, envy.
In Nelson W. Aldrich Jr.’s Old Money, he says that “envy is so integral and painful a part of what animates human behavior . . . It begins with the almost frantic sense of emptiness inside oneself, as if the pump of one’s heart were sucking on air.”
How often we’re like Peter: overly preoccupied about what God is doing in other people’s lives and how we measure up to them. We become engrossed with comparing our families, our careers, even our ministries, instead of cherishing the things we are given and paying attention to our own affairs. I find it very interesting that it has been said, “Envy is the small-minded cousin of pride.” Ouch. Who would think that what we may consider a tiny, secret sin would be a close relative to the deadly sin of pride? But if we take a moment to examine our hearts, how often are we ungrateful because we believe we know better than God what and how much we should have. Would we trade our sovereign Lord for a genie in a bottle?
I read that the Latin word for envy (invidia) translates as “non-sight.” One might even think of envy as selective blindness or seeing things inside out. In Dante’s Inferno, he depicts the envious plodding along under cloaks of lead, their eyes sewn shut with leaden wire. They are blind to what they have been given by God and what He has prepared for them.
Coming back to Peter, D.A. Carson comments, “It’s all so pathetic, so self-focused, so sinful. Jesus tells Peter, ‘If I want him to remain alive until I come, what is that to you? You must follow me’ (John 21:22). The diversity of gifts and graces is enormous; the only Master we must please is Jesus.”
The apostle Paul wrote these memorable words to his young protégé Timothy: “But godliness [actually] is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either. If we have food and covering, with these we shall be content. But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (1 Timothy 6:6 NAS).
35 comments
Lisa Puckett | July 23, 2013
Thank you Cathe. Your devotionals never fail to speak to me when I need them the most. May God continue to use you to Glorify Him and for His Kingdom.
Thank you again !!
Rohma | September 1, 2013
Thank you Cathe, I know sometimes I think of those things as little things . . . but in reality, they're are deadly weapons which can destroy each individual completely. Thank you for sharing the "snare of compare".
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Sandee | July 23, 2013
Wow, thank you Cathe! I really needed to read these exact words! I have been letting what others have & do take too much away from what great gifts God has already given me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
God bless
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Sharon | July 23, 2013
I have not been able to attend Girl Talk this year and have been looking for it on-line. Thank you so much for sharing. I can now watch it. Thank you for your faithfulness...
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Veronica | July 23, 2013
Thank You Cathe, this is a great one! I'd like to share a story on this topic......I have always been fascinated with Beautiful Homes, the interior & exterior. So one morning while sipping my coffee, I look out the porch to see a huge truck backing in a brand new manufactured home in the empty lot in front of our house. It looked so well put together, and I love everything NEW for some reason, even the smell of New. So my immediate reaction was Wow! why do they get a Brand New Home? So in this lesson, the Lord had been working on my Husband and me as to what a Home really is. We started reading devotionals every morning and God gave us this time (7 yrs.) to rebuild and restore not only our relationship with Him but also with each other and our Home. My Husband has restored our Home to look so beautiful with his own working hands that when I now look at that Home across the way, it looks so sad because there is no real Foundation to hold it up. It's amazing what God can do! We Praise him!
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Veronica | July 23, 2013
Also Love that Dress by the way! Beautiful & Unique, it Looks Gorgeous on you : )
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Joy Montgomery | July 23, 2013
These words really spoke to my heart. I needed to be reminded how God has blessed me, and how He blesses others. I'm given far more than I ever deserve. Thank you God for Cathe, For reminding us to be thankful.
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Corrine Lewis | July 23, 2013
Thank you so much for sharing this. It is a reminder for me to be content in where God wants me to be.
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Christina C | July 23, 2013
Thank you for hitting the nail on the head with this one. So true, but so hard to apply! I desperately needed this today.
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Amme | July 23, 2013
Thank you for the reminder! Such a great message, you are such a blessing.
Beverly | November 26, 2013
Thank You for that insight. We must not let a simple act of envy turn our head from the prize that we have in Jesus.
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Anita Henigman | July 23, 2013
Thanks Cathe. Many years ago God spoke to me about envy and He put me and my husband in with couples who had much more than we had (Edison vice president, Dentists, other professionals). I was truly envious and asked the Lord to take it away from me. Not only did He take it away, but he replaced it with true contentment. We have been a part of a new ministry in Africa and have watched the Lord at work. We have been given opportunities to open our home to young people and their families. In our retirement years we feel truly blessed to have a nice house, a retirement income (which some may consider small) but we feel is more than sufficient for the two of us. We are able to help our kids and grandkids and still have left over. We have truly had our cup filled to overflowing. The Lord is faithful.
Juliet | July 24, 2013
Wow! God bless you, it takes a lot of courage to be a missionary.
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Mirella A-Hathaway | July 23, 2013
Great reminder because in truth this happens to us all; guilty. It's difficult to not get caught up in focusing on to dressing up our lives for others, to seek acceptance. Learning to be content daily is my goal.. Blessings.
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Laurie | July 23, 2013
Timely as ever... We were just discussing the "gifts" of the Spirit at study last night, about how many feel inadequate with their particular gifts! How "content" we should be in whatever the Lord bestows on us, period. TY for sharing : )
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Teri | July 23, 2013
AWESOME Cathe!
Thank You Lord for yet another convicting message; one that speaks to the very root of our womanhood.
Thank You for loving us enough not to allow us to remain in our 'envious' state.
Help us keep our eyes upon You always Lord Jesus and may we pray for those who we consider 'more' blessed than we, for we never know what they may have gone through, or are going through, in their lives.
In Jesus' amazingly gracious name - Amen
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Margaret Nahmias | July 23, 2013
I can relate to this I was a perfectionist. This comparison trap almost kept me from God because I thought I was not capable of living the life God requires especially when I saw other believers who I thought were mature.
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Suzanne | July 23, 2013
I just finished reading your book. I absolutely loved it. I look forward to reading your next book.
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Amy | July 23, 2013
Amen to "awesome!" My natural self wanted to sink into envy with how anointed and timed this devotion is, but then I paused and pondered what the Lord has showed me in recent months through His word and truth and now this conformation piece. Beautiful and obedient Cathe, thank you. As our friend Phil Robertson said in a closing episode in prayer; "Heavenly Father help us to be content with a lot or a little:" Amen!
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Gem | July 23, 2013
That moves me. I often tend to forget simple things God has given me instead wasting my energy looking for the temporary things on earth that I don't have. I will try my best to reflect and make this devotion a part of changes in my perspective. Thank you for the word of the Lord. It inspires me.
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Dorothy | July 23, 2013
Thank you so much, Cathe. Every time I read your message, I feel so blessed. We are so far apart, yet I feel the closeness that's only made possible by God.
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JoAnn Mesquit | July 23, 2013
Thank you for this Cathe! I used to find myself always wanting what others had because it always seemed that theirs was better. Didn't matter what "it" was, I wanted it. After learning to commit time with God each morning, or at least before I went to sleep that night, I've realized that "it" was never going to make me happy. The One, our Lord, has been the "it" I've been searching for all my life! I have learned that I only need what God intends for me to have. I don't fret any longer about the stuff because God has filled me with something more precious than anything this world has to offer. I'm filled with Hope!
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Juliet | July 23, 2013
This is timely Cathe, thanks for the share xxx. As a young growing college girl, I have spent so much time envious of people who have better clothes & whose college rooms are fully furnished as opposed to mine. I envy people who seem to know everything in class, as a result I end up reading so much to keep up with them and I end up frustrated. Today though I have learned that I should be content with my clothes, my room, and even as I read I should do it for the glory of God. Thanks soo much. Looking forward to your next note.
Kelly | August 15, 2013
You have a wonderful heart, Juliet, and at your age if you can grasp being grateful and content for what God has given to you right now, He will honor that as you live your life to please Him......
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Debbie | July 24, 2013
Good Morning,
Thank you so much for sharing. I pray that all that is not of My Jesus that that he take from me and that My Jesus restore my Heart to his Heart. I love My Jesus very much!
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Beth | July 24, 2013
How great it is to read this message! It brought light to a few things I've been struggling with lately. Time to step back into reality and God's Word and realize just how many blessings He has bestowed upon me! Contentment is peace!
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Melissa | July 24, 2013
This was such a timely message for me today! Thank you so much for your words!!
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Thomas Kane | July 24, 2013
Cathe, I believe you hit the nail on the head for me when you said about the Lord knowing what and how much we need. Like Paul put it, I've learned how to be abased and abound, both to abound and suffer need, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
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Tracey | July 24, 2013
Boy, reading this message has really shed light on a dark place in my life and a constant struggle for me. I definitely have a problem with envy. It could be for small things or bigger things, but it seems I am always comparing myself and what I have, how I am treated, etc. with what others have. If allowed to grow, it robs me of my gratefulness to my God for oh so many blessings in my life. I am reminded by your message to first, ask for my Lord's forgiveness for my sin of envy, and never cease to pray for healing in this area. Thank you for sharing.
Kelly | August 3, 2013
I can relate *completely*! So thankful that I'm not alone but more thankful that God is able to bring us through these struggles with envy to increase our gratitude and joy!
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Mari | July 25, 2013
I am so grateful that God begins teaching us lessons and then sends people like you to drive it home. I want so much more than I should. I see people daily suffering with hopelessness and lack of their very basic needs being met. I myself have many needs but God has given me so much compared to so many. God is teaching me to have a spirit of gratitude for what I have been given, to not focus on things, to trust him in EVERYTHING, and most of all to keep my focus on HIM AT ALL TIMES AND HE IN HIS GOODNESS WILL TAKE CARE OF ALL THAT I HAVE NEED OF. Thank you for allowing God to Eakins through you.
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Betty Masterson | July 25, 2013
Thanks for this BEAUTIFUL devotional Cathe. What I pray OFTEN with my girls is that we WON'T fall in love with the things of this world and that we would appreciate all the AMAZING Blessings the Lord has already been gracious enough to Bless us with. I feel that it's SUPER important that my children appreciate all the wonders around us because those are Blessings that can't be bought and to ME, are More important than all the material things of this world. God Bless you and your beautiful family.
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Marcy | July 26, 2013
I really needed that reminder, thank you so very much.
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Justine | July 26, 2013
Wow! How I needed to hear this. I am glad that as Christian women, we can admit our times of feeling envious and confess our sin to the Lord. I love how Jesus tells Peter in John 21:22 "what is that to you? You must follow me’ " That's all we need to focus on. Not following people..following Jesus.
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Myrna | August 8, 2013
As always you touch my spirit. Thank you.
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Grace | August 10, 2013
Wow! Thank you so much for this Mrs. Laurie. I am guilty of envy. This has spoken to my heart and I am truly grateful that my ears continue to be sensitive to the Lord's voice.
Blessings to you and Mr. Laurie!
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Deborah | August 22, 2013
Thank You for talking about the snare of compare. I forgot about being contempt and thankful for the things I have and not being envious of other people. Thank you for bringing this to my remembrance. This message is a blessing to me.
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Christy | September 17, 2013
My mom just happened to email me about this site this morning, and I immediately saw this article. Just this morning I woke up feeling super envious & weak comparing myself, and this is just affirmation that the Lord wants me to be content with how He's made me & where He's placed me. I've noticed the inner battle that happens when I'm feeling envious. It's so strong. One part of me wants to look different, have what they have, not be in my situation... etc., but another part of me recognizes how wrong it is to feel that way & is trying so hard to not fall into that. Praise Jesus that we can call out to him and receive His strength, peace, and forgiveness when we feel like there's no way out of our feelings. He's everything.
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Marie | September 24, 2013
It's no surprise that envy and pride are so closely related. I appreciate your candid, open honest comments about this; it can easily be ignored because sometimes we feel a sense of entitlement and would never think that our greed or pride is in the way of just enjoying what we have. None of what we have is ours really- they are 'loaners' from the Almighty. Paul knew how to be content in any state he was in. I do try to follow this example but it is difficult for one reason- it sneaks up on us so slowly, we don't even realize we're in an envious state. It robs our peace, our joy by preempting the things that really give us joy, which are not material at all. Don't get me wrong, I love new wallpaper, dresses, shoes! But those things give temporary happiness. Pride is a destroyer because it's the umbrella sin that covers so many bad emotions and sinful attitudes. We need to be happy in whatever state we're in. Thanks for the reminder Cathe. ox
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Susie | November 5, 2016
That's really thinkng of the highest order
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