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Before you read any further, make a mental list of your five closest friends. Did you do it? Okay, now read on.

 

Have you ever been “unfriended” on social media? When that happens, we wonder: Was it something I said? Maybe I post too many photos of my adorable grandkids (#blessed). Was it all those cute animal videos? Too many angry political rants? These make me want to unfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I love cute animal videos. (Insert pink double-heart emoji here.)

 

But seriously, there are few things in life more important than good friends. We were made for friendship, even though it has taken on a skewed meaning in our social-media culture. I don’t know how many Facebook friends you have, but I doubt they can all be the kind of friend the Bible portrays.

 

Burger King ran an ad campaign years ago offering a free burger to anyone who would unfriend ten people. The idea was that you like your friends, but really love the Whopper. So if you got unfriended for a burger, the pitch was, “Wow, this burger must really be something!” According to the New York Times, the stunt worked too well. Within the first week, 233,906 friendships were terminated and Burger King was obliged to give away 23,000 Whoppers. Needless to say, they quickly discontinued the offer.

 

So I want to ask you, how valuable is friendship to you?

 

Jesus said, “This is My commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are My friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are My friends, since I have told you everything the Father told Me. You didn’t choose Me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using My name. This is My command: Love each other” (John 15:12– 17 NLT).

 

One quality we see in this passage is how a true friend is welcomed into secret places of our heart. Incidentally, that’s one reason we can’t have that many true friends. There just isn’t enough space in our life, or time in our day, to tell everybody everything. You can’t promise to always be there for every person you know. You can’t be everyone’s best friend (no duh), but you certainly need a few good friends!

 

Let me give you two reasons why you need to think seriously about friendship:

 

Friends affect how you perceive the world.

A recent study was conducted with students at the University of Virginia. Each person was given a heavy backpack and directed to the base of a steep hill. Some participants were instructed to stand next to friends during the exercise, and others to stand alone. Then each person was asked to gauge how steep the hill was. The results were really interesting. The students with a friend next to them gave lower estimates—and for longtime friends, the hill seemed even less steep. Out of all the participants, those who stood alone gauged the hill to be the steepest. Your friend’s outlook and perception of circumstances can radically shape your world.

 

Friends shape more than your perception of the world—your friends will shape you.

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20 NKJV). According to this verse, what one factor determines how your life turns out? Who you choose to walk through life with. Simply put, show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. Or as someone has said, “Your friends are your future you.”

 

So think again about your list of five friends. If you’re partying and getting high every weekend, chances are three or four of your closest friends are too. On the other hand, if you’re chasing after God with all your heart, it’s likely that your closest friends are as well.

 

We like to think of the person we want to become—someone more loving, more forgiving. We want to be a kinder person, less selfish, a better wife, a more solid Christian. What if the solution to realize that dream was as simple as choosing the right friends? Your life right now, like it or not, is being shaped by your circle of friends. So choose wisely.

 

One of the most fascinating character studies in the Old Testament is to look at the influence of three men who were great friends to David, the king of Israel. They were Samuel, Jonathan, and Nathan.

 

Samuel was a prophet and judge in Israel. With God’s help, Samuel saw qualities in David that no one else could see. All they saw was a little shepherd boy, insignificant and unremarkable. But Samuel saw in David the heart of a great king.

 

Jonathan was David’s best friend. He sacrificially let go of his privilege, as heir apparent to the crown, and stepped aside. He did this so that David, his friend, would be free to realize his rightful place as the future king.

 

Nathan was a friend who had the hardest task of all. When David was in stuck in sin, Nathan came and boldly confronted him—not to destroy him, but so that he would repent and be restored.

 

We all need friends with qualities like David’s friends. Friends like Samuel who help us grow up into women of God. Friends like Nathan who are strong enough and mature enough to tell us the truth, even when it hurts—a true friend who (as it’s been said) will “stab you in the front.” We need friendships that are built on mutual respect, love, and sacrifice. Jonathan was a friend like that.

 

All three of these men demonstrated qualities we find in our greatest Friend of all, our Lord and Savior Jesus. Never forget that you have the perfect Friend, who is always with you. He sees more potential in you than you could ever imagine. He will lovingly confront you when you’re blind to your own faults and sins. And best of all, He is the Friend who laid down every privilege of deity to share His kingdom and His crown with you. What a Friend we have in Jesus!