Show Me Your Friends
Before you read any further, make a mental list of your five closest friends. Did you do it? Okay, now read on.
Have you ever been “unfriended” on social media? When that happens, we wonder: Was it something I said? Maybe I post too many photos of my adorable grandkids (#blessed). Was it all those cute animal videos? Too many angry political rants? These make me want to unfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I love cute animal videos. (Insert pink double-heart emoji here.)
But seriously, there are few things in life more important than good friends. We were made for friendship, even though it has taken on a skewed meaning in our social-media culture. I don’t know how many Facebook friends you have, but I doubt they can all be the kind of friend the Bible portrays.
Burger King ran an ad campaign years ago offering a free burger to anyone who would unfriend ten people. The idea was that you like your friends, but really love the Whopper. So if you got unfriended for a burger, the pitch was, “Wow, this burger must really be something!” According to the New York Times, the stunt worked too well. Within the first week, 233,906 friendships were terminated and Burger King was obliged to give away 23,000 Whoppers. Needless to say, they quickly discontinued the offer.
So I want to ask you, how valuable is friendship to you?
Jesus said, “This is My commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you. There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are My friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves. Now you are My friends, since I have told you everything the Father told Me. You didn’t choose Me. I chose you. I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using My name. This is My command: Love each other” (John 15:12– 17 NLT).
One quality we see in this passage is how a true friend is welcomed into secret places of our heart. Incidentally, that’s one reason we can’t have that many true friends. There just isn’t enough space in our life, or time in our day, to tell everybody everything. You can’t promise to always be there for every person you know. You can’t be everyone’s best friend (no duh), but you certainly need a few good friends!
Let me give you two reasons why you need to think seriously about friendship:
Friends affect how you perceive the world.
A recent study was conducted with students at the University of Virginia. Each person was given a heavy backpack and directed to the base of a steep hill. Some participants were instructed to stand next to friends during the exercise, and others to stand alone. Then each person was asked to gauge how steep the hill was. The results were really interesting. The students with a friend next to them gave lower estimates—and for longtime friends, the hill seemed even less steep. Out of all the participants, those who stood alone gauged the hill to be the steepest. Your friend’s outlook and perception of circumstances can radically shape your world.
Friends shape more than your perception of the world—your friends will shape you.
“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20 NKJV). According to this verse, what one factor determines how your life turns out? Who you choose to walk through life with. Simply put, show me your friends and I’ll show you your future. Or as someone has said, “Your friends are your future you.”
So think again about your list of five friends. If you’re partying and getting high every weekend, chances are three or four of your closest friends are too. On the other hand, if you’re chasing after God with all your heart, it’s likely that your closest friends are as well.
We like to think of the person we want to become—someone more loving, more forgiving. We want to be a kinder person, less selfish, a better wife, a more solid Christian. What if the solution to realize that dream was as simple as choosing the right friends? Your life right now, like it or not, is being shaped by your circle of friends. So choose wisely.
One of the most fascinating character studies in the Old Testament is to look at the influence of three men who were great friends to David, the king of Israel. They were Samuel, Jonathan, and Nathan.
Samuel was a prophet and judge in Israel. With God’s help, Samuel saw qualities in David that no one else could see. All they saw was a little shepherd boy, insignificant and unremarkable. But Samuel saw in David the heart of a great king.
Jonathan was David’s best friend. He sacrificially let go of his privilege, as heir apparent to the crown, and stepped aside. He did this so that David, his friend, would be free to realize his rightful place as the future king.
Nathan was a friend who had the hardest task of all. When David was in stuck in sin, Nathan came and boldly confronted him—not to destroy him, but so that he would repent and be restored.
We all need friends with qualities like David’s friends. Friends like Samuel who help us grow up into women of God. Friends like Nathan who are strong enough and mature enough to tell us the truth, even when it hurts—a true friend who (as it’s been said) will “stab you in the front.” We need friendships that are built on mutual respect, love, and sacrifice. Jonathan was a friend like that.
All three of these men demonstrated qualities we find in our greatest Friend of all, our Lord and Savior Jesus. Never forget that you have the perfect Friend, who is always with you. He sees more potential in you than you could ever imagine. He will lovingly confront you when you’re blind to your own faults and sins. And best of all, He is the Friend who laid down every privilege of deity to share His kingdom and His crown with you. What a Friend we have in Jesus!
23 comments
Lilly Gonzalez | June 20, 2016
Thank you for this reminder. Yes friends are very important so as sad as it is, I am not as close as I once was to a couple of my friends because I am a believer of God's Word, and have new life in Jesus. I am not the same person I was 10, 15 years ago. I have new friends in Christ Jesus who believe in Jesus as I do, and it is really comforting when you need someone to talk to, who can understand where you are coming from. Love this devotion. Thank you to you and Pastor Greg.
Leave a comment
amorcita hayner | June 20, 2016
A beautiful sharing. I'm the type who gets offended and wants to please everybody however, I would rather have real good friends who have CHRIST in their hearts.
Leave a comment
[email protected] | June 20, 2016
Thank you Cathe for this beautiful reminder of what is a TRUE friend. An encouraging friend who always seeks to push us closer to Jesus. I love your heart. Thank you for sharing your heart and wisdom with this devotion. Praying for friends that will surround you with love, care, wisdom, hugs, and kindness each and every day!
Leave a comment
Suzette Panameno | June 20, 2016
Thank you. This is wonderful. I will share this with my son, nieces and nephews.May the Lord continue to guide and bless you.
Belynda Kincaid | June 20, 2016
Beautifully said Cathe! Before I was saved almost 10 years ago, I didn't have a true friend. Those you party with, are rarely the real deal. How can they love you, since the love of Christ is not in them, right? Since being born again, He has given me great, real friends, and Sisters-in-Christ. We have Jesus in common and can not get enough of Him. Thanks to you and Greg for helping me grow spiritually over these past 9.5 years. God sent Greg's preaching into my life right after salvation and I still enjoy hearing God's Word. His Grace gives me the desire and the power to do His Will. I want to be like Jesus! God bless you and yours!
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
TerriLangsea | June 20, 2016
Thank you, I have at least 5 Godly women I am close to.
Share anything with them and they pray for me and encourage me.
Leave a comment
Michelle Beckman | June 20, 2016
Ahhh Cathe! This was such a profound message on true friendship! I've seriously never heard such a well-balanced message on the subject! I pray that many Christian women hear this and are as blessed as I was! Please remind them of the live message available on girl talk 2015. Our Texas Women are still being blessed by all of the previous girl talk messages and demos.
Leave a comment
Erika Lutz | June 20, 2016
Cathe... You're such an inspiration...you are the mentor I hope to find and strive to be. This is a great message for those of us who haven't been taught about friendship in a positive view.
Leave a comment
rogelio | June 20, 2016
I'm a follower of your husband's daily devotions, which by the way have been a true blessing and breath of fresh air every morning. Just want to thank you for this message. Great biblical analogy! Thanks again.
Leave a comment
Grace | June 20, 2016
Thank you Cathe for this Godly message of what is at the heart of true Christian friendship. This message hit home for me because I was unable to name 5 TRUE Christian friends. I do not use social media or have accounts to Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram because I prefer to engage in conversations telephonically or in-person. I do not feel "the world" needs to know my every movement, like, status or preference ~ I believe that type of information is "reserved" for close friends and those in our "inner circles." True friendship begins with being rooted in Christ and the Word of God. It is through this relationship of loving God that we grow and learn to love others. True friendship is not based on the number of people "following us" but the commitment in our hearts and lives TO FOLLOW our Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ and to ABIDE in HIM.
Leave a comment
Joan McDonagh | June 21, 2016
Thank you for sharing this Cathe, I see so many women struggling with this and it breaks my heart. Following the way of the world instead of following Christ and setting the tone for their relationships.
Leave a comment
Barbara Cardenas | June 21, 2016
Cathe, thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. All of us need little reminders about the value of true friendships and the importance of being a true friend not only in the good times, but most importantly during the bad ones.
God bless you!
Leave a comment
Teresa Brichner | June 21, 2016
This is such a great reminder of Dad's teachings about the company you keep and how it can mold your life. I have strayed from the path of happiness too many times deceived by individuals I considered my friends. Thank you!
Leave a comment
Tina Collins-Coleman | June 21, 2016
I have enjoyed reading this so much. In coming up with my five closest friends, I will admit, it was hard to do. My desire is to follow Christ and try to do what he would have me to do and I pray that somehow, I will hopefully, be a light to someone else. I couldn't imagine trying to make it without Christ in my life, as I find many times, he is my closest and dearest friend. I really enjoy reading all that you post Cathe. Please pray for me.
Leave a comment
Matilda | June 21, 2016
So true, I agree that you cannot have alot of close friends. Choosing or looking for true friendship is a serious matter. (I learned it the hard way.) I realized that it was a task that I surrendered to God and let Him bring me the friends I have in my life. True friends that I can bare all to. They will never let me get away with anything and it goes both ways with them. They are my 2 closest and dearest friends that have been with me through a lot of the ugly and the good. We speak the truth in love as God leads us. We have the best time together and at times it's almost like a Lucy and Ethel episode!!! The fun we have together is so Blessed by God. It all started with making Christ my Savior and God took it from there. God is mmm, mmm Good.
Leave a comment
Monica | June 21, 2016
I pray that God will send me a friend or friend who will stab me in the front.
Leave a comment
Connie Harrison | June 22, 2016
Thank you Cathe! For such wisdom in God's truth about real friendships, and who you invest your life with. Those who are around you will rub off their influence on you, good or bad, and like you said, we become who we hang out with.
I thank the Lord always for you and Greg and for all you both do in God's Kingdom! My husband and I came to Calvary Chapel Costa Mesa on Monday nights to hear Greg's teaching and went to the first Harvest Crusade in 1990.
"Wow" that's when my husband and I experienced the Holy Spirit moving in our hearts, which I know He has always been working in our hearts as I look back. But now I know it was His hand in everything, as He showed more and more of His grace moving in such a way in our lives.
Again Cathe, thank you for your sweet spirit and hard labor in serving God's church, we love you in His Name!
May God bless you always!
Leave a comment
Christine | June 22, 2016
Wow, I really needed this today. The last few days I have been losing my focus on my relationship with God. Thinking about why certain so-called friends hadn't returned my text or how to fit certain events into a busy time. I really needed to be reminded of what really matters, my relationship with the Father. And the friendships I made in the Virtue Bible Study last session. I've been thinking of emailing a few of them and hadn't done it. I will do so today and refocus my thoughts, desires and faith.
Thank you Cathe!!!! God Bless you!!!!
Leave a comment
Lynda | June 23, 2016
God is a wonderful Father. Spent today listening to Greg on the reason for attending church and was going to go to Thursday night women's study ...found out it has been replaced with a new exercise Bible study!!! (I still have my new Total Gym to start using) My father passed away last Saturday at the age of 90 and my best friend moved to Redding and bought a house today! Need friends desperately now but He is so much a provider...simply put I don't need to worry .....Thank you very much Cathe, your thoughts God used as a very big hug for me!
Leave a comment
Dann Kago | June 24, 2016
Am so grateful, even though am far
am so humbled, Just love this church
all away from kenya. Praying one day
to see Harvest church face to face and
its beautiful people.
Leave a comment
debbie Zamora | June 29, 2016
Good Morning Cathe, its good to hear from you. Thank you, for sending this, it is beautiful, I see things in a new way. I'm very glad that Jesus is my best friend and that He will confront me and show me my sins and my faults and straighten me out and help me back. I love Jesus very much! This also reminds me of my mom, she would say las friends?? I know what she meant, now there is not many at all. I have been hurt by friends and I can't open up again. I pray God send me friends that would be friends. At this time I have none. I may smile but I don't trust anyone they have their own clicks I don't fit in :0).
Thank you again, for sending. Yes, My Jesus is the only one that sees the good in me!
Have a Happy 4th.
In God's Love.
Leave a comment
Karen Jennings | July 5, 2016
I have been married almost 50 years. I have been isolated from having any friends by my husband. We are in the process now of getting a divorce. The isolation is devastating. This gives me hope. I just now need to find a place to live and a job to support myself. At 70 years old and only social security it will be hard until I find a job. Please pray for me. I need friends, but I have my Saviour Jesus. No one can take Him away.
Leah Case | July 6, 2016
Dear Karen, praying for you right now, as you walk through this difficult transition. You are not alone, our Lord Jesus is with you. You can depend on His unfailing strength for all you need. Praying and trusting God to provide you with a place to live, a job, and for friends and a church family to come alongside you. Lord, we ask You to comfort Karen and be her strength for today.
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
Delores Taylor | July 15, 2016
Dear Karen, I too was delivered from a abusive spouse. God bless you and be looking for your miracles because they are on the way!
Leave a comment
Jeri Imsdahl | July 19, 2016
Thank you for sharing this! This is a great reminder.
Leave a comment
Leave a comment