Redemption

I had really done it this time. I thought I had finally gotten bills taken care of this month. I thought that this would be the month I’d have a little extra spending money for the upcoming weekend. Instead, I was feeling the lump in my throat grow as “insufficient funds” flashed on the ATM screen. I had goofed big time. My fiancé was sitting in the car waiting for me to complete my transaction so we could continue on with our fun day. How was I going to tell him I had no money to contribute—much less that I now owed my bank almost $200?

I tried to compose myself (not very convincingly) as I walked back to the car. Justin could tell something was wrong and asked me if I was feeling alright. That’s all it took for me to break down and confess everything. I was so ashamed. How could he ever want to marry me now? I told him of my plan to slowly pay back my debt. The last thing I’d ever do was ask him for help. I already felt pathetic enough just telling him about this. I knew he’d offer to help, but I promised myself I would never allow it.

Justin pulled the car into a spot and turned the engine off. “Oh no,” I thought, “Here it comes.” He quietly got out of the car and came around to open my door. My stomach was in knots. He took my hand and we walked up to the bank entrance. I considered letting go of his hand and fleeing, but I knew I wouldn’t get that far. We walked straight up to a teller and Justin explained that we were here to close my account and pay what was owed. I just stood there, shocked. I handed over my account information to the teller and she told us the balance owed. At this point, Justin’s eyebrows peaked a bit. I hadn’t really given him an exact dollar amount, hoping to save myself a shred of dignity. Justin handed his money over and the exchange was quick and cordial. We left the bank hand in hand. Once outside I braced myself for the inevitable. Instead, Justin hugged me before opening my door for me. He said he loved me and it was taken care of. And then we drove the couple blocks to his bank to add me onto his account. I seriously couldn’t believe what was happening! I felt sick to my stomach with guilt and shame; all the while Justin seemed totally cool.

For days and weeks afterwards I found myself uneasy around my future husband. If we went out on a date, I was always quietly adding up the price of everything. I had become a slave to my debt, all the while never acknowledging the debt was already paid. I wasted valuable time I could’ve spent getting to know my future helpmate. Instead, I distanced myself in my shame and guilt over what had transpired that day at the bank. All Justin wanted to do was love me the way Christ does. And, instead of letting him, I was constantly placing the past between us like a wall.

Jesus knew we had really dug ourselves into an endless pit of sin and debt that we’d never be able to pay back. We had nothing of value to trade in. But Christ did! And He chose to sacrifice the most valuable treasure, His own perfect life—a sacrifice big enough to cover our debt completely. And He did this so we could have direct fellowship with God. We don’t have to hide in a darkened corner, covered in shame and regret. It’s that shame and regret that He freed us from!

The enemy will often try to convince me of my unworthiness when approaching God. And yes, my friends—I am completely unworthy. But I have the blood of Christ wrapped around me. I have been given a “paid in full” receipt that cancels my debt. This allows me direct access to the God of the universe.

This experience is always a reminder to me to live like I’m redeemed, because I already am! Christ already finished the work. I don’t want to waste my life always carrying around the load of my transgressions. Instead, I can now share with others the freedom that Christ’s redemption brings. We not only have our sins forgiven; we are grafted into the family of God. This is the good news we can share with others who are hiding away, ashamed of their lifetime of debt. Christ has paid not only our debt, but also our way to heaven—to be with him forever!

Ephesians 1:7 says, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.” The power of His redemption and the riches of His grace are immeasurable—are you living in light of that today?