Opening the Door
I have always loved Father-Daughter date nights. It is an extraordinary time for daddies to dress up in their Sunday best and daughters to wear their favorite dress and feel like a princess. What a special time for daddies to demonstrate what their little girls should look for in their future husbands.
As a young mother of twin boys, I recognized father-daughter evenings were not going to be an option, so I set out to cultivate special times with my sons, Aaron and Jordan, planning weekly date nights with them (normally when my husband was away for his weekly men’s Bible study). Our evenings together were focused on manners, how to treat a young lady (and I would try my best to model that), and various conversation-starters to discuss at the dinner table. We would pick an evening just to talk about dreams and goals, but manners were always emphasized. Each week we would take turns picking the location where we would spend our date. Much to my dismay, most of those evenings were spent at IHOP, which included an endless amount pancakes. Our times were rich in both syrup and fun—just mom and her boys talking about the importance of manners and why . . . why it’s important to open a car door, or any door, for a lady . . . the importance of pulling out a chair at a restaurant, even IHOP. As we discussed manners, and their importance, Aaron and Jordan would compete and race to see who would be first to open the door for Mom, and any benefactor who was entering or leaving.
When finances were tight, which was more than often, we would decide on our favorite ice cream or treat, instead of a restaurant. Yet the motivation was the same: to have each other’s undivided attention and for Mom to use the time to talk about the importance of manners. As the boys have grown and are ready to go out on their own, we still make time to date. It’s not as frequent as I’d like it to be because of their responsibilities, yet I’m blessed to see that the topics we discussed so many times have remained important: to treat a woman as a precious vessel, to protect and care for her. They still compete to be the first to open the door for me.
Proverbs 22:6 instructs us to "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."
The word train means to stimulate, to guide, encourage, and to discipline to do good. God promises that if we train up, guide, and encourage doing good, the results will be long lasting! It is never too late to start either. A Chinese proverb states: "The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago; the second best time is now. " Thank God for His grace, and opportunities to train up!
Dan and I have encouraged our sons, and by God’s grace modeled the virtues that are important to Him. As parents, we have made every effort to display the importance of taking Scripture seriously and presently, and as we enter this new season, we are doing it again.
We are quickly approaching the season when our children pack up their necessities (in our case, surfboards, guitars, and computers) and step out in the paths where God has directed them. Once again, they are moving towards the door quickly!
Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it . . .
We are trusting God and trusting these two young men and the work that He has done in their lives; only this time, I’m not insisting they open the door as they quickly rush towards it. Instead, my Heavenly Father is encouraging me to trust in the work that He has done, to anticipate the work that He will do, and to open the door for them. It’s my turn to open the door.
Oh, how I look forward to future date nights (even if they are at IHOP). I know the topics of discussion will change but, in the meantime, Lord I trust Your plan for their lives, just as I trust You with this new chapter in mine.
9 comments
JoAnn | September 22, 2011
Lisa, that touched my heart. Thank you and God bless you and your family!
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Diane | September 22, 2011
Great article and so true! Thanks for sharing such an encouraging word from your heart.
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Venicia | September 22, 2011
This was very inspirational and it came at the perfect time !! I can use a lot from this with my own son. God Bless!!
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Dawn | September 22, 2011
What an amazing job you and Dan did. Their hearts to serve the Lord and to put others first are a true blessing to so many.
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Kari | September 23, 2011
Thanks Lisa,for the reminder and encouragement to put trust in the Lord to finish the work He started. I too am a Mom of twin boys who are now Seniors in H.S. Gonna glue Proverbs 22:6 everwhere I can. Mostly gonna hide that precious promise deep in my heart.
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Jennifer | September 24, 2011
Lisa, That was so amazing to sit here and read this over and over again. It brought tears to my eyes as I am struggling letting go of my children. I love the date night with the children. I always thought how important it is to get a date night with my husband, but now I see how important it is to have one with my children. I believe God will use this time with my children to really bond with them and share God's word and love for them as well as manners and what the future of being with our Lord can give them. Thank you so much for your love and passion in God, it has spoken to me to be a better parent as well as a wife to my husband and the children that God has blessed our family with.
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Jean | September 24, 2011
Lisa,
What an encouragement you are! You know, I was so happy to read your article...because years ago, I was coaxed out of the house by a friend on a Saturday morning to attend a Harvest Women's Bible Study, and you happened to be speaking. You told about your twins, and how you read scriptures and prayed with them before school each day. What you had to say about raising your boys in the ways of the Lord made an impression on me. I've always home-schooled, so we were in the Word, prayer and instruction daily, but you know, it gets tiring! Kids aren't always cooperative and goof around, sometimes I just felt like giving up. You gave me a power-boost that day to keep on keeping on! So, here I am again, reminded to continue training my kids in God's ways... perseverance does pay off. Yes, when they walk through that "door"( as one has this year to Bible College :) ), I will be rejoicing that I stayed the course...and most of all, God is pleased with me for doing the job.
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Theresa | September 25, 2011
What an amazing and practical way to impart the importance of developing a gentle heart towards women. It is a very rare thing to see men, even Christian men go the extra mile to tenderly take care of women. Thank you for teaching your boys the value of chivalry. There is no doubt that it will multiply as they are launched from your home and live out their life - pusuing God's will.
Your faith is amazing!!
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Jenette D. | September 27, 2011
Thank you so much for your transparency! Such wisdom and love come through this article. Parenting doesn't just happen! Takes tremendous prayer, patience, forgiveness, discipline, etc. I am confident that what your husband and you have instilled in your sons will carry on into the next generation! Thank you!
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