Love Him…The Way He Wants to Be Loved
My mom, bless her, has a routine that she has performed for years and years.
Daily, she sprays her bed linens with the scent of Jean Nate. Yes, and when you walk into her home, you have this fragrance wafting in on a cloud along with what I believe is a faint touch of mothballs. (No doubt the mothballs were a necessity for every conscientious homemaker who has lived in the tropics, as we did for many years.) It does make for, shall I be kind, a unique combination. But nevertheless, she loves it.
Mom began purchasing Jean Nate years ago, so if you are looking to find a bottle or two, you may have trouble finding it. I believe Mom has purchased every bottle she could find and they are all in her linen closet. Quart bottle sizes, mind you. Once upon a time, in the days before Costco, there were stores called Fedco, and when they went out of business, Mom bought out their supply of . . . yes, you guessed right, Jean Nate. My dad says she has enough bottles to last her several lifetimes of linen spraying.
Just the other day, Mom was telling me again how she sprays the sheets every morning and how much she loves that scent. Then she paused, turned, and looked at my dad, who was reading in his lounge chair.
“Honey, you love the way I spray the sheets and they way smell, don’t you?”
Looking over the top of his newspaper, he flatly replied, “No, I’ve told you this before, Pilar . . . I’ve never liked it.”
Never one easily discouraged, Mom, to this date, continues spraying their sheets and towels to her heart’s delight.
In John 14:15, Jesus says to His disciples, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (ESV). Sometimes I wonder, despite our church attendance, or the songs we sing, or the sermons we hear, if we truly love Jesus the way He wants to be loved. It’s not a bad idea to think this question through deeply because what we call love may not be love as Christ defines it.
To welcome Christ into our hearts, we must hand over the keys to the front door, the back door . . . and every door. Instead have we welcomed Jesus into our lives only to force Him into a corner chair and, in effect, tape His mouth shut and tie His hands?
We must welcome a Christ who speaks, who has viewpoints and commands and principles and convictions. A Christ who has ideas about sexuality, marriage, work, friendships, money . . . everything! To have Christ living in us is to welcome His ideas into our hearts, and to receive heaven’s viewpoint as our own.
In a scene from Fiddler on the Roof, Tevye, the colorful and indomitable father and husband, is sweetly asking his sharp-tongued wife, Golde, a question.
Tevye: “Golde, do you love me?”
Golde: “Do I what?”
She is distracted, straightening the bed covers, fluffing the feather pillows, moving about the house from bedroom to kitchen. Instead of considering his question and giving an answer, she sidesteps it.
Golde: “With the daughters getting married, and trouble in the town . . . you’re upset, you’re worn out. Go inside; go lie down.”
Tevye: “Golde, I’m asking you a question. Do you love me?”
“Do I love you? After 25 years I’ve washed your clothes, cooked your meals, cleaned your house, given you children, milked your cow. After 25 years why talk about love now?”
Funny, isn’t it, how two people who are technically married can live with each other, sleep in the same bed, and yet can find themselves a thousand miles apart in their thoughts and hearts.
So in case we may forget and distract—or worse, deceive—we need to ask ourselves the hard question: do we love Jesus the way He wants to be loved? The only way to know the true answer is to ask the Holy Spirit to help us hear His voice, through the pages of our Bibles, speak into our lives. Then we must respond in obedience or disobedience, faith or doubt, repentance or refusal.
35 comments
Matilda Harris | October 22, 2013
I love Jean Nate' too! Thank you for this post.
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Melanie Gomez | October 22, 2013
Beatitudes come to mind! The hymn I surrender all!
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Lorraine Gerling | October 22, 2013
Thank you Cathe....I love reading "Cathe's Notes".....your thoughts truly touch me....
Thanks so much.
Lorraine
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Patsy | October 22, 2013
Chuckle! This is good! Thanks for the Challenge!
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Eleanor Watkins | October 22, 2013
Thank you for giving me something to think about and pray about. I know the Lord has been wanting me to turn over the key to my heart (every area of my life) to HIM. I pray to the Holy Spirit to give me the strength (Grace to help in time of need) to surrender ALL of me each day.
Please pray for me that this will happen more and more.
Thank you and God bless you.
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Susan | October 22, 2013
I didn't know you could get Jean Nate in the US. I come from Saint Lucia in the Caribbean and you can get it mostly anywhere. :-) Brings back a lot of memories, my boss loves it.
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Sue | October 22, 2013
I thought your teaching last week at Virtue was excellent . Thank you
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Lorrie | October 22, 2013
Thanks Cathe, touching and thought provoking as is your usual. It never gets old, your sweet godly spirit is such a blessing. Channel #5 was my Grammie's scent and that is what love "smells like" to me. I wonder what love "smells" like to our Lord?
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Gracie | October 22, 2013
What a dear story, Cathe! And, how wonderful that you are able to tell it while your mom is still here. I have dozens of stories of my dear mom, Juanita. She was a godly woman, (now in heaven), who had a wit and good advice she passed on to her eight children. My husband to this day says, (referring to my mom), "A wise woman once said,....." He then proceeds to quote her many eloquent sayings that punctuated every conceivable situation.
Thank you for sharing about your mom. It brings such warmth and comforting memories of my own mom.
Blessings,
Gracie
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Donna Thorpe-Andersen | October 22, 2013
Cathe, This is the FIRST I have read of yours -- it was easy to relate and felt very honest and straightforward. I enjoyed it - made me think that just speaking the simple truth from one's heart can really touch someone and make a difference. That was nice - thanks! I live in Canada in the summer and Mexico in the winter - so my computer is there for me when I don't have a pastor/church handy and I am glad I have both you and your husband to listen to and receive the Word from.
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Esther Rojas | October 22, 2013
Wow. How I remember that fragrance well. I agree are we really loving Jesus wholeheartedly? You know last night my lil rat terrier Zero was chasing a possum on the wall. Well, needless to say he jumped and hit the wall and yelped in pain. I ran to his aid. My dog was in shock shaking and unable to walk. My daughter grabbed a towel and wrapped him. I reassured him he would be fine. I got into a spat with my son and began to think the worst. You know I went into the bathroom and prayed for him for God to intervene and He did. Within a few minutes he was walkimg without any problems. I fall short daily, but my Father always comes through. I love him.
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Liz | October 22, 2013
Truly what I needed to read today..I been finding myself asking why do I "Cheat/Dishonest" to God but not my husband..because I know God will never leave me. He will be hurt, but He will forgive me..but my husband might leave me and maybe never forgive me..I need to start acting like a true Christian and stop giving God only half of me. God wants all of me..my mind...spirit...heart...body & soul. Thank you for always sharing your words of encouragment.
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Beverley | October 22, 2013
Cathe, I have gone to Harvest off and on since before you had babies. I was there when Chris was dedicated to the Lord as a baby. You have grown in so very much Wisdom. The last few weeks have been very trying in reading this article. You gave me back something I had known and felt for years, but sometimes we hide things in our hearts. Maybe we are trying to keep them safe for what, I don't know maybe fearing the true outcome. If we loved Jesus the way He already loves each of us, perhaps all we would be able to see and feel is smiles and love. Thank you.
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Leanne Cherry | October 22, 2013
My Nana, who was just two months shy of becoming 102 and was just called home to be with the Lord two weeks ago, loved that scent too. I can remember, when I was little, because Jean Nate was not real expensive, buying it for her for Christmas almost every year. My Nana was obedient to the Lord, and now she's enjoying her Heavenly reward. She's just started her eternity there, and she's awaiting the rest of us to get there. Nana, I hope I can be as obedient to our Lord as your example taught me to be.
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Dianne | October 22, 2013
Such a beautifully written call to love as Christ wants us to love. Thank you :)
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Mum | October 22, 2013
This is so true for me right now, waiting for the right time to talk ends up being never. The Lord is teaching me. Once that distance is there it's hard to close the gap...."Funny, isn’t it, how two people who are technically married can live with each other, sleep in the same bed, and yet can find themselves a thousand miles apart in their thoughts and hearts."
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Julie | October 22, 2013
Thank you for this. Sadly I did not love as Jesus would have me to love today. :( I've been going through stressful training at work, working overtime, I was tired, exhausted and in need of reading the Word when he approached me. A man saying he needed money to feed his kids and he was short and wanting to buy a Pollo Loco Family meal. So I did give him money (and since I know there are NO rewards, I can share it), but I had to open my nasty mouth first!! It just seems like I am constantly getting asked for money when I'm in financial straits (hence the overtime, to make ends barely meet)! So I said, "Why don't you ask men for money? They have more money and make more than women do!" He said he couldn't tell if I was a woman or not (I was in my car and it was dark) he just asked. And with that I gave him money and he said "Thank You and God bless you". I immediately repented, but I still cannot forgive myself. So thank you for this reminder as I get into His Word. :(
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Keri | October 23, 2013
This is a very good thing to ponder. I often wonder when I see people doing sinful things but also say they love Jesus if I am doing the same thing, just not as blatantly. Thank you for this thought, and I certainly am going to strive to show my love for the Savior.
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Alissa | October 23, 2013
Thank you for this!! My grandmother used to do the same thing with her sheets. Everytime I smell Jean Nate it reminds me of her :(. Dear Lord, help me to love your son Jesus the way He wants me loved! Amen!
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Debbie | October 23, 2013
Good Morning,
I think of my mom. She was a very neat person. She would put powder on the bed sheets. MY mom's house was clean at 10am in the morning and I remember when she would wash and hang out the clothes. We did not have dryer and I think of that washing machine having to ring out the clothes. Lots of work for my mom. My middle sister is like my mom.
Thank you for what you mentioned about My Jesus having the keys to my heart's everything! I heard a teaching this weekend about My Jesus having the keys to everything. I think My Jesus is telling me something! :0). I want My Jesus to have my heart, mind, soul and life. I give Him the keys to my life!
Thank you!
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Ann | October 23, 2013
Thank you for making me smile, and as always, remind me of how much God loves us and wants to be the center of our lives. I know that I need to allow Him to take control. Thank you for your words.
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Kenya Friday-Clark | October 23, 2013
Thank You.
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Pat | October 23, 2013
Thank you. It is enlightening to think of Jesus as having opinions on real life things. I don't often think about that. With that in mind, my decisions might look a little different and also may be a little easier to make. Also, I can still smell Jean Nate in my mind when you talked about it. My mom also loved it and I loved it on her, but only on her. It was never quite the same on me or my sisters. Good memories! (My wonderful mom passed away last November.)
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Darlene Hall | October 23, 2013
I did a devotional on "Our Love Language" at our women's retreat. We must know God's Word before we can know how He wants us to love Him. Our ways are not His ways. I enjoyed your story about your mom, it made me smile and is so typical of us. If we love something we can't imagine someone else not loving it too. Thank you Cathe!
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Judith Giliomee | October 23, 2013
MY POEM
You love me because you sent your son for me
He died for all my sins His blood has set me free
While I was still kept bondage in the sins that ruled my life
You had a plan to rescue me from all the wrath and strife
You say if you love me my commandments you will keep
One way we can prove to you that our love runs deep.
Fear you and revere you respect and honour you
Worship you praise you all glory to you due
We love you 'cos you first loved us when your Son you gave
He walked this earth died rose up from the grave
Your love is shed abroad in our hearts by your Holy Spirit
This is a sign to us that your love comes without limit
We abide in your commandments and in your love
No better place to live sent from above
Jesus showed us that this was where he dwelt
When he walked the earth and his love was felt
Be our dwelling where we live day by day
Under the shadow of your wings we'll not go astray
Your presence we resort to inward press
Our King and God and great fortress.
(c)
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Terry | October 23, 2013
Thank you for the notes today, it is just what my heart required. And My mom loves Jean Nate, I keep a bottle to spray every now and then. As I am my mother's Daughter.
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Sheri | October 23, 2013
I love ALL your messages. Isn't this so true....... Sometimes I wouldn't know how to let Him have all the aspects of my life. I would need to be counseled on this I guess. It would take deep thought from day to day always trying to be mindful of this and would take work. I live in Yorba Linda. Do you personally have Bible classes in Riverside or Irvine? If so what are the days and times. I go from your husband's church to one in Costa Mesa, but no Bible class.
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Nanci | October 23, 2013
Jean Nate, yes I remember and loved it many years ago. I think my husband would react the same way your father did. Sometimes I feel (my husband of 20 years) is so distant from me, I speak and he doesn't react. I know he has no idea of the things I do or how I feel about things. He is about to retire and I pray he will dedicate himself to the Lord and grow more spiritually. He says he wants to and I wait to see if??? Christ is my focus and I continue to grow and immerse myself in Him. I know it is what is best for me to absorb the word of God and to learn and understand all that is given to me in Christ. Thank you for these lovely notes! God bless.
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Nichole Bailey | October 24, 2013
Thanks a million for this note. We all need to love God every tick of time. This is an eye opener. I hope everyone who is a devoted Christian needs to read clearly and understand this note. I felt very good after reading this one.
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Marcy | October 24, 2013
WOW, Jean Nate, what a blast from my past! My Nana had a stock pile of it also, along with the powder that came in a round box and had a powder puff thingy in it. She used to puff my sisters and I all up with Jean Nate powder after bath time, Ahhhh memories....But most importantly, I loved the analogy. It struck home, and sad to say, I am guilty as charged. I often find my self living and loving Jesus on my terms. I'm so glad we have a patient, loving and gracious God.
Thanks for the reminder, Cathe. And thanks for the stroll down memory lane :)
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Kristy | October 24, 2013
Lol my mom used Jean Nate. That's so funny that she insists on her routine even though her husband doesn't like the smell. This article comes with perfect timing cause I was questioning myself if I truly and deeply love Jesus. I am one who tends to let feelings and circumstances determine my walk with God. Its a daily consciousness effort to not let my feeings rule. But the Word says If you love me then you'll keep my commandments. So that's what I strive to do ( with help and an abundance of grace from the Holy Spirit) Thank you Cathe.
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Judy Carver | October 24, 2013
I know I don't and it's because I don't know how. When I ask my husband if he loves me his answer is similar, I'm still here aren't I? Sad, but I think that is the way it is w/me and my Lord. I still speak w/him, but usually it is a one way conversation.
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Betty Masterson | October 24, 2013
Wow!! You took me to the past 20 something years and I could smell the Jean Nate as you were sharing this wonderful story with us. I was wondering if your mother was Latin? She has a beautiful name (Pilar) and the only Pilar I knew in my lifetime was a Latin woman. I love receiving these lovely devotionals. Thank you for taking the time to send them our way. God Bless you and your gorgeous family.
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Doris | November 5, 2013
Thank you.
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Elizabeth Del Cioppo | November 7, 2013
I like the question. I'm up and down. I have to ask The Lord to give me passion and also to bring me back to my first love when I get dry. I came to Him in 1970 (18 yrs old) because Billy Graham said I could know Him personally. That is the only reason I became a Christian. I've walked with The Lord now 43 years. What helps fan the flame is when I remember all the wonderful things Jesus has done in my life to make Himself known to me in a personal way. I've got many stories of God's faithfulness. I love how real He is and knowing this in my heart makes all the difference in my walk with Him. His word makes sense and has been so helpful to show me how to live and behave. I love Jesus because He is very sweet!
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