These are all really good ideas. Remembering your husband's past, who he was is a good idea, but what about those of us who have married a man who does not have a good family background and would rather forget his past?
Chelsea | October 2, 2010
Jo,
My husband grew up with a great dad and step-mom (later), and a not so great biological mom. Both my parents had lousy childhood lives before Christ-hope my experience helps.
Kelly respects her husband's heritage because it's important to him, not because it's a must. I don't bring up the "unpleasant" circumstances or talk about it unless he initiates the topic. Be positive. Be sympathetic and sensitive. Bring it back around to Jesus and the difference in him. Remember Philippians 4:8 and that love hopes for the best. Focus on the new life you have together now and remember that those circumstances had influence on shaping the character of the man you now love. And if you are looking for something praise-worthy, let's say for your children's heritage (because kids always want to know what life was like for their parents), gently ask him if there is and tell him why you want to know.
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lori bray | October 10, 2010
Dear Cathe, Hi again! Did you post all the books she talked about somewhere??? I didn't go to this Girl Talk. Could they be listed in order of importance, please?
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Calondra | March 26, 2011
Thank you for this. I learned so much. You are right....I need to care about his past and what he was. This helped me to grasp a greater understanding of what he is going through after suffering so many challenges and set-backs....the most recent being a stroke. Thank you so very much!
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Kay | May 22, 2011
Thanks for the suggestions, Kelly! My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years and have been fighting over who he loves best...his motorcycle or me. :-) So after hearing what you had to say, I wrote to my husband's favorite motorcycle shop and asked them for a favor. My husband has had so much trouble with his motorcycle over the past two years...we have been on a more than tight budget, so he's been doing minimal repairs and holding off on trying to find another bike. I tire of seeing the disappointment on his face when the bike makes him limit his plans or cancel them altogether, so I asked his favorite shop if they can tell me where I can rent a good bike for a great price and send him off on a nice, worry-free, hassle-free weekend by himself. He likes to camp out alone and pray and read his Bible...so pray for me that I can find a good deal! Thanks again.
Kay
Elizabeth | July 23, 2013
I was reading your little comment about your husband's motorcycle problems. What my husband and I do when he starts a project is we pray together. Remember what Matt 18:19 says, where two make an agreement as touching anything, we'll ask the Lord to have His hand in on the project that my husband is going to work on. So I strongly suggest that you try it. If we don't ask then we don't receive and it also says in the Word of God that anything we ask in Jesus' name He will do it. Ask Him and really depend on Him. We serve a living God, not a dead god. Our Lord is very much alive. Have blessed day my sister.
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Jacqueline | September 22, 2011
Thanks Kelly for taking time to help married ladies to improve their relationship. However, I want your advice of a problematic husband. How can I please someone who doesn't want to even see me near him?
Rebecca | January 28, 2013
It upsets me that there was no reply to this comment. I am in a similar situation and have been reaching out in numerous places lately to no avail. The only thing that seems to work for my situation (and believe it or not, it is seemingly hopeless from a world standpoint - all my fault, by the way) is continued prayer, listening to the Bible and listening to sermons on my iPhone. Lots of good apps out there.... If there is a way to communicate outside of this blog, I would be happy to listen.
Virtue | January 29, 2013
Hi Rebecca,
On Virtue we want to offer practical, biblical encouragement, however, giving very specific and personal marriage advice is outside of the scope of this blog. We would encourage you to seek help from your church. If you attend Harvest, we have a 9-week small group study for wives that is specific and personal, it's called "Godly Life for the Godly Wife," and it's part of the Mentoring Matters ministry.
5 comments
Jo | September 19, 2010
These are all really good ideas. Remembering your husband's past, who he was is a good idea, but what about those of us who have married a man who does not have a good family background and would rather forget his past?
Chelsea | October 2, 2010
Jo,
My husband grew up with a great dad and step-mom (later), and a not so great biological mom. Both my parents had lousy childhood lives before Christ-hope my experience helps.
Kelly respects her husband's heritage because it's important to him, not because it's a must. I don't bring up the "unpleasant" circumstances or talk about it unless he initiates the topic. Be positive. Be sympathetic and sensitive. Bring it back around to Jesus and the difference in him. Remember Philippians 4:8 and that love hopes for the best. Focus on the new life you have together now and remember that those circumstances had influence on shaping the character of the man you now love. And if you are looking for something praise-worthy, let's say for your children's heritage (because kids always want to know what life was like for their parents), gently ask him if there is and tell him why you want to know.
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
lori bray | October 10, 2010
Dear Cathe, Hi again! Did you post all the books she talked about somewhere??? I didn't go to this Girl Talk. Could they be listed in order of importance, please?
Leave a comment
Calondra | March 26, 2011
Thank you for this. I learned so much. You are right....I need to care about his past and what he was. This helped me to grasp a greater understanding of what he is going through after suffering so many challenges and set-backs....the most recent being a stroke. Thank you so very much!
Leave a comment
Kay | May 22, 2011
Thanks for the suggestions, Kelly! My husband and I have been married for almost 17 years and have been fighting over who he loves best...his motorcycle or me. :-) So after hearing what you had to say, I wrote to my husband's favorite motorcycle shop and asked them for a favor. My husband has had so much trouble with his motorcycle over the past two years...we have been on a more than tight budget, so he's been doing minimal repairs and holding off on trying to find another bike. I tire of seeing the disappointment on his face when the bike makes him limit his plans or cancel them altogether, so I asked his favorite shop if they can tell me where I can rent a good bike for a great price and send him off on a nice, worry-free, hassle-free weekend by himself. He likes to camp out alone and pray and read his Bible...so pray for me that I can find a good deal! Thanks again.
Kay
Elizabeth | July 23, 2013
I was reading your little comment about your husband's motorcycle problems. What my husband and I do when he starts a project is we pray together. Remember what Matt 18:19 says, where two make an agreement as touching anything, we'll ask the Lord to have His hand in on the project that my husband is going to work on. So I strongly suggest that you try it. If we don't ask then we don't receive and it also says in the Word of God that anything we ask in Jesus' name He will do it. Ask Him and really depend on Him. We serve a living God, not a dead god. Our Lord is very much alive. Have blessed day my sister.
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
Jacqueline | September 22, 2011
Thanks Kelly for taking time to help married ladies to improve their relationship. However, I want your advice of a problematic husband. How can I please someone who doesn't want to even see me near him?
Rebecca | January 28, 2013
It upsets me that there was no reply to this comment. I am in a similar situation and have been reaching out in numerous places lately to no avail. The only thing that seems to work for my situation (and believe it or not, it is seemingly hopeless from a world standpoint - all my fault, by the way) is continued prayer, listening to the Bible and listening to sermons on my iPhone. Lots of good apps out there.... If there is a way to communicate outside of this blog, I would be happy to listen.
Virtue | January 29, 2013
Hi Rebecca,
On Virtue we want to offer practical, biblical encouragement, however, giving very specific and personal marriage advice is outside of the scope of this blog. We would encourage you to seek help from your church. If you attend Harvest, we have a 9-week small group study for wives that is specific and personal, it's called "Godly Life for the Godly Wife," and it's part of the Mentoring Matters ministry.
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
Leave a comment
Leave a comment