post-397b

“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.”

It’s been a year . . . 365 days . . . 8,766 hours . . . 525,600 minutes. How many tears are in that bottle now?

You . . . put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
(Psalm 56:8 NKJV)

I am certain that God never wastes a hurt, so I have often wondered, will all this sadness and pain somehow be transformed into much greater joy when we arrive in heaven?

In the Middle Ages, there were men called alchemists who tried to transform common lead into gold. They spent their days trying to discover that essential missing ingredient, the mystical key that would make this possible. They always came up unsuccessful.

I try to add it all up, walk around and around the tragedy of Christopher’s death, look at it from all sides, and reason it out as best I can. At times, with eyes of faith, I can see a divine plan so clearly and yes, I can even rejoice. Our faith is, after all, the religion of the cross, and suffering was the Savior’s path to glory.

Yet honestly, at other times I am swallowed by immense waves of grief and unanswered questions, and I am left perplexed. Like Paul, I say, “I am perplexed, but not in despair” (2 Corinthians 4:8b NKJV).

The Greek word for “perplexed” carries the notion that temporarily we are “in straits, left wondering why and longing,” in this case for our son. This year has not been a cakewalk, but we are not in despair. We, absolutely, are not utterly despairing or without hope.

So I go back to my original question, will all this sadness and pain somehow be transformed into something far, far better?

Paul’s wrote to his friends in Rome about his own suffering and said, “For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8:18 NKJV). He considered, reasoned, and concluded that all that is endured for Christ would one day look so small when compared to the glory and beauty that awaits us.

Therefore, I must add it all up and reason it out in light of His Word and not my own understanding.

Paul’s statement tells me God is the Great Alchemist. He takes the ugly and hard troubles that we suffer and turns them into things of extreme value, far greater than even gold. As Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 4:17, “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all” (NKJV).

Listen, girls, in heaven’s economy, you are trading lead for gold. So I will relinquish to God the base metal of my life, my hopes for happiness, and specifically, the future as I dreamed it would be—to watch my son Christopher grow old with his wife and children in a home of their own—and surrender to the Great Alchemist.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.