“Papa, Papa,” she begins to cry. “I don’t want to take a nap.”

Her words have that sweet, persuasive emphasis on “PaaaPaaa” as she looks lovingly at him with her big blue eyes filling with tears.

I must admit, we girls certainly know how to put on the charm. No one has to teach us this. It is inherent in little girls along with sugar and spice and everything nice.

My 3-year-old granddaughter Stella already knows just how to charm her Papa; and it works every time.

In the final verses of Proverbs 31, we read, “Beauty is fleeting and charm is deceptive, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Here we are given a warning about how we women can use our wiles to get our way.

Sometimes, we are certain that our way is the best way. I have “been there, done that” myself—certain I was right about how, when, what, or where something is to be done. When I got my way, I realized just how little I knew.

My wisdom is based only on information I have processed and what I come to realize is that first of all, my wisdom is limited because my knowledge is limited. Often, I don’t have all I need to make a wise decision. Then my heart is often led astray by my own desires for a simple, quick, and painless solution.

Someone wisely said, “Beauty fades, but dumb is forever!” God help us to not be dumb! What may seem good in the short term may be disastrous in the long run.

So where do we get this wisdom we need for life? Psalm 110:10 tells us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”

What is the fear of the Lord? Many are confused and misunderstand what this means.

Fear is often associated with that knot in the stomach, that sinking, heart-pounding, often paralyzing emotion. Is this the fear we are to have for the Lord? Is it the same fear as the fear of falling off a cliff or the fear of a wild animal?

The other day, while leaving the shopping center, Greg and I bumped into a friend who is a captain in the police department. It was interesting to watch how people changed as soon as they noticed this man in uniform.

Those who drove by took notice of him and slowed way down. People on the sidewalk deferred to him, all because of his uniform and all it represents. He has the authority to write, ticket, or even arrest them. That’s certainly a type of fear.

A few days later, I happened to see him at church with his three beautiful daughters. I watched them as they held his hand and leaned close to his shoulder, expressing their affection to one another.

Now, I’m sure they fear their father, but it is not out of dread of what he might do to them. This fear of their father is out of love. There is respect, not the terror some may feel toward an officer of the law. No, their fear is one based on relationship and love; they would not want to hurt or disappoint him.

Theologians have made the distinction between servile fear and filial fear. The Latin root of servile is from the same word for slave, while filial is from the Latin root for child.

A slave knows nothing of the affection and privilege a child feels for his loving parent. Servile fear is essentially a self-centered fear, fear of what can happen to me, a fear of punishment.

Filial fear is entirely different. Filial fear is a respect and reverence that wants to avoid causing any kind of hurt.

A woman who fears the Lord is not afraid of God, but only wants to please Him. Why? Because she loves Him.

So here is where we begin in our quest for the virtuous life. It isn’t a list of do’s and don’ts.

Some of us just love lists, don’t we? We love the ability to cross them off or check each box. It gives such a sense of accomplishment and pride.

But here is where we must be very careful, ladies. It’s possible to do many things, even good things with our lives. And so we should; but is that all that the Lord requires? He is far more interested in the motives of our heart.

If we’re not careful to first tend to the loves of our hearts, we will easily slip back into that slave-like fear. St. Augustine said, “The key to life change is not the act of the will, but the loves of the heart.” That is why we are told in Proverbs 4:23, “Above all else, guard your heart for it is the well-spring of life”.

You might begin today with a prayer like this one, “Lord, you know all things. You see every facet of my life, my hopes, as well as my fears. It is my desire to live a life that is pleasing to You, for only then, will I have a life worth living. Take all my heart and fill me with that loving, child-like fear so I might learn to be wise. Thank you, Father for loving me for Jesus’ sake. Amen.”